Yes, I'm cold.

The newspaper makes me sad. They're banning role-playing video games because people are blowing things up...because characters plant bombs. (What about the video games they played 10 years ago?) People are pouring money out of their wallets to help some brat with a bad heart in Afghanistan who left care in Canada but can't afford or access treatment at home, so he wants to come back here despite he/his family can't afford it. (Don't we have better things/more local kids to spend that money on?) American troops in the middle east are dying. (Well, maybe if they weren't there in the first place...) Perdita Felicien failed to make the finals. (Why are we placing all our hopes on her? Leave the poor girl alone and stop telling her how she's letting her country down.) The British government is trying to get the Islamic group heads to prevents radical extremism, but the imams are blaming it on the government's foreign policy. (I say we start another witchhunt, complete with caged drownings and lynchings, or just deport em all back to the middle east. The various sects will get rid of each other in bloody warfare, along with the rest of the American army, and we can wash our hands of the matter altogether.) Palestinian protestors and preventing early Israeli pull-out. (The hell? I thought they'd be happy with this. Misery loves company, I suppose.) Refugee criminals staying in the country, but can't be deported because they face torture. (Maybe they shouldn't have done all that stuff in the first place.) Bertuzzi's suspension has been lifted. (Moore's still off the ice indefinitely.) CEOs of huge corporations in jail for fraud. (How do you run out of money when you're a millionaire?) Jennifer Aniston and Nicole Kidman are sad after their respective divorces. (Why do we care?) The Canadian military is woefully unprepared to carry out missions up North, or anywhere for that matter. (How much do they pay everyone again? Why bother having an army if we have nothing for them?) Smog alerts are at an all-time high. (Maybe if we stopped building more roads and focused on transit...) Passengers exiting streetcars are getting injured due to cars not stopping. (...why are they exiting onto the street?) Train derailments spill oil and sodium hydroxide into local rivers. (Huh, so my research really is useful...I think.) Woman shoots guard in escape bid for husband. (Way to go, now you're in jail and his sentence is longer. Idiot.) Some kids are too fat. (Yup.) Some kids are too skinny. (What do you want?) Birds are to blame for spreading pollution to the Arctic through their feces. (Well, maybe if their food wasn't so damned contaminated in the first place...) The jails are overcrowded, and violent criminals are being released into the streets, usually on the assumption that they are at low risk to re-offend, or that high-risk re-offenders have been "rehabilitated." (Uh.huh. Let's just kill them and be done with it. Seriously, do you want a "rehabilitated" child molestor living next door to your 3 kids? What about that guy whose schtick was to rape college women at knifepoint being released into a half-way house smack dab between two college campuses? Welcome to Kingston, suckers.) Mother who lost her son in Iraq camps outside Bush's Texas ranch to protest the war. (Hey you guys re-elected him.)

The hell? And any good-news stories are sappy bleeding heart humanitarian shit. I'm sticking to the comics.